Monday, May 2, 2011

Celebrity Apprentice Recap: President Obama Interrupts Ending With Osama bin Laden Announcement

Article first published as TV Open Thread Celebrity Apprentice President Obama Interrupts Ending on Blogcritics.

LaToya, eliminated in last week’s show, barely had a chance to hit the pavement before Nene lit into Star.

"When Star did what she did to LaToya in the boardroom, I really was like, I want to say I’m going to kick Star’s a--," Nene hissed privately. "I’m going to figure it out. How I am going to f--- Star up. And I am."

Hoo-boy. Lines drawn in the sand. Dukes up. And Nene’s ire didn’t dim at delivery of the task.

The teams were told to produce a hair show showcasing Biosilk and CHI hair products for Farouk Shami. They would be judged on brand messaging, showcasing of products and tools, and overall presentation with the winner earning $40 thousand for charity. Lil Jon lost a rock paper scissors duel with Meat, making him the men’s default PM. Nene accepted the PM slot for the women, but criticized Star for putting her on the spot.

And then, right in front of Farouk and The Donald, all hell broke loose. Nene lashed out at Star for pressuring her into accepting the role of PM. "Who put you in charge?" Nene wanted to know. The fight quickly became personal.

"I know how you think. I know how you play the game." Nene taunted. "You’re playing with the right one, baby. You’re playing with this one."

"This is not the real housewives," Star calmly countered.

"I will take you down. I will do you when the rest of these girls won’t," Nene threatened.

"Wow" was all The Donald had to say. And it didn’t end there as Nene threateningly walked over to Star.

"You talked a good game. Now bring your street game," Nene taunted. "Now where is Barbara Walters? You’d better bring your street game."

"That was a little unusual," said The Donald.

Nene wouldn’t relent. "Don’t you ever play me like that!" she screamed at Star. "Who do you think you are?"

"I don’t do threats," Star answered cooly.

"Yeah, but you can put them out."

"Will you please explain what you’re talking about?" Star pleaded. "Women talk to each other, Nene."

"Shut the f--- up. Park a—bitch," Nene screeched.

Okay then. How would you like that as your celebrity apprentice? For once, I think The Donald was at a loss for words.

Not much happened after Nene’s tirade. The men were feeling fairly confident and managed to persuade Niki Taylor, an ousted women’s team member, to act as one of their models. Back on the women’s team, morale sank very low. Nene tried to lead the team as if nothing had happened, but the women weren’t buying it. At one point, Hope admitted her head wasn’t in the game because she didn’t respect Nene. Privately, she called her an "evil woman."

Paired with Marlee for a shopping errand, Hope and Marlee looked kind of shell-shocked. Hope said she thought Nene was going to hit Star during her tirade. Marlee said she thought Nene might rip off Star’s wig. No wonder Star always looks perfectly coiffed. And here I thought it was a weave.

In an unprecedented move, LaToya called a private meeting with The Donald, ratted out Star as her major problem, and asked to come back on the men’s team, not the women’s. The Donald complimented her sparkly pants and said he wanted 24 hours to think about it. I’m glad LaToya showed some spunk. For that alone she should be readmitted to the game.

The teams arrived at a hair salon to prep for their respective shows. When Niki showed up, the men made sure to throw her in the women’s faces. Nene couldn’t believe Niki had agreed to work for the men’s team. Marlee thought it was a betrayal.

The whole time, Star quietly seethed. Regardless of her feelings toward Nene, Star was determined to pull her own weight. She secured a dancing troupe to open their show and assumed responsibility for graphics and lighting. Eric Trump dropped in on the women and was surprised to see Nene and Star in the same room. He privately acknowledged what everyone was thinking. Yes, Nene was gunning for Star’s ouster, but at the same time she desperately needed her help to win the task.

Privately, Nene lamented her dilemma. "You evil, fat lady," she complained bitterly about Star. "You may have lost weight on the outside, but your brain is still fat on the inside." Not quite the putdown of the week, but still in the top ten. I don’t know why Nene suddenly went all gangsta against Star, but when this gal gets going there is no stopping her.

Too bad she couldn’t channel that energy into her hair show. Both teams did a stunning job, but ultimately, Farouk chose the men. The Donald announced the winner, then voila, in walked LaToya. The women were clearly stunned. Nene smiled and mouthed hello. In eleven seasons of "The Apprentice" and "The Celebrity Apprentice," The Donald has never brought back a contestant. Acknowledging that the men had lost Jose Canseco through no fault of their own and that LaToya had played a pretty strong game, he vowed never to do so again.

Back to the catfight.

"I think Star is disloyal and a backstabber," Nene whined. "Hope is just a puppet on a string when it comes to Star. Who does that? I am the only one who will stand up to Star Jones."

When asked, LaToya echoed Nene’s complaints. As for Marlee, she didn’t quite have Nene’s back. "Sometimes Nene scares me," Marlee revealed, but later added, "I have the utmost respect for Nene. She’s not violent, not at all. But verbally, sometimes, she is abusive." Hope quickly seconded the accusation.

This didn’t seem to concern The Donald, though he couldn’t help but mention how Star looked scared during Nene’s tirade. He said he’d never seen Star look scared.

"I wasn’t scared of Nene, Mr. Trump. I was afraid that maybe I might not be able to maintain my dignity under the circumstances," answered Star. Way to turn around a potential negative. One thing you have to hand to Star, that woman can talk her way out of practically anything.

At 10:45 p.m. EST, my NBC affiliated interrupted the show to report an American military action had killed 9/11 chief terrorist Osama bin Laden. They were supposed to interrupt with President Obama speaking live, but instead broke in with talking heads Andrea Mitchell and David Gregory, who then bantered back and forth until 11:30 p.m. about the hunt for bin Laden and his purported death. That’s when the President finally went live with the official announcement. Lovely. Couldn’t they have saved the ridiculous banter until after the show?

Oh, I suppose not. All the major stations had interrupted programming. Still, I can’t help but think the President and/or national news media purposely timed the disruption. After all, it was The Donald, a private citizen and potential presidential candidate, who was able to pressure the President into finally revealing his long form birth certificate. Since then, The Donald has been the recipient of nothing but criticism. Could this be their way of getting back at him?

I hate to say it, but paybacks really are hell.


West coast sources reveal that Hope got the ax in the boardroom. Just as well. Hope was truly the weakest link on that team and should have been fired for sabotaging the task. Shopping for herself during the shopping errand and strutting on the runway "like Big Bird," according to Nene.

I would love to have seen how Nene handled herself in the boardroom, but for that I will have to wait until Xfinity On Demand becomes available.

Curse you Osama bin Laden!

Read My Other Season 4 Recaps:

Gary Busey Finally Meets His Waterloo

Meat Loaf Meltdown Targets Gary Busey

Niki Taylor Loses Battle of Airheads