Clutching her right breast with a come hither arm raised gently over a golden flowing mane, eight-weeks pregnant (with twins) and ready to pop Mariah Carey graces the cover of "Life & Style Weekly." Naked as a jaybird, Carey joins the ranks of other pregnant celebrities who have posed naked on magazine covers. Demi Moore, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera all come to mind.
More than twenty years after Moore stunned the world with her daring expose, Carey's naked swell barely raises eyebrows. Been there, seen that. Naked pregnant women have lost their edge. Other than navigating newsstand placement, where's the controversy?
I'm not going to criticize Carey for exposing her naked pregnant body -- dark line running down the center of her stomach and belly button flattened wide like roadkill on a dark country road -- for all the world to ogle. Truth be told, she looks radiantly lovely, a mother-to-be in true Botticelli form.
No, my gripe is with her choice of magazine. "Life & Style," is she serious? Couldn't she have picked a rag with wider circulation? I mean, Demi let it all hang out for "Vanity Fair," Britney laid bare for "Harper's Bazaar," and Christina went au naturel for "Marie Clare." Not that these are the creme de la creme of periodicals, though in their own way, they are at the top of their game. In contrast, Carey seems to be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Up until her naked shoot, I had no idea this magazine existed.
"My children are going to have to see these pictures. It's a little weird," he said during his Rollin' with Nick Cannon radio show. "It's a little nasty," he continued. "I mean, have you ever seen your parents naked? When they get older and their friends come over... they will see the pictures and say, 'Your daddy's butt naked.'"
Cannon's remarks are puzzling. If these photos are the least bit nasty, why hang them in an area of the family home where visitors will see them? For that matter, why display them at all, or let them appear in a weekly magazine? I don't get it. Can't Cannon and Carey hang these beauties in a private area of their home? Better yet, stick them in a scrapbook, tuck them away in a dark closet, and only pull them out for special occasions?
That'll put an end to disturbing glances from puzzled houseguests.