Monday, November 17, 2008

Top Ten Most Likely Types to Create Obnoxious Motrin Advertisement

Rather than nervously await the almost inevitable pink-slip, some advertising crony up and committed career suicide. Ah, just in time for the holidays.

I mean, who else would create a Motrin ad campaign vilifying baby carriers as hernia inducing torture chambers causing cuckoo bird crazy eyes to sprout on their child-cradling fashion victims?

Only a person without enough guts to ask for a long vacation. Or these top ten most likely types to create an obnoxious Motrin ad:

10. Self-hating embittered shrew who despises children, their cutesy noises, and smelly diaper leaks.

9. Neanderthal caveman from the popular GEICO ads.

8. Womanizing, power lusting, money grubbing playah with a madonna-slut complex.

7. New intern whose only creative talent is pleasuring the boss.

6. Aging hunchback who had her tubes tied about an hour after giving birth.

5. Perfectionist type-A super-achiever who brings home the bacon, fries it up in the pan, and never lets you forget you're a man.

4. Doormat push-over who can be talked into anything, including wearing a sling carrier to hold someone else's twenty-five pound baby during a trip to the mall.

3. Self-absorbed socially clueless ADHD person too busy maneuvering an unforgiving and perilous world.

2. Hermaphrodite.

1. Man living at home with his mother, seven cats, and one helluva post-nasal drip.

Is it too late to short sell JNJ?