Monday, October 20, 2008

Prince William Unrecognizable, Powell's Endorsement Undeniable, Lohan's Tan Unreliable and Mo' Gossip

Prince William cavorts with Christine Aguilera and Paris Hilton at a London night club
It was a night of douchebag debauchery for the future King of England. Not on William Wales' end, mind you, but the idiot bodyguards who supposedly kept him from fraternizing with Queen Xtina. At some point, His Highness was recognized and given court before setting out with Prince Harry on a week long South African motorbike race for charity. I don't know who snapped this romantic memento of the Prince's glitterati rendezvous sans hubby Jordan Bratman, but that's the most photogenic Christine Aguilera has looked in months.

Actor Alan Cumming recalls washing away his disappointment over 2004 election night result with handstands and trannies. Today, he fears possible revolution in the event of a similar outcome this November.

Respected GOP stalwart Colin Powell finally announced his endorsement for president and it's .... Democrat Barack Obama. Surprise! Meanwhile, the McCain Campaign somehow persuaded CNN to scrub its report of the Palin family's involvement in the Alaskan Independence Party. Media censorship knows no boundaries.

Like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," claimed Guy Ritchie in describing love-making with soon to be ex-wife Madonna. Ritchie blamed the material girl's obsession with exercise and Kabbalah for sex life interruptus, some draughts lasting as long as 18 months.

Foo Fighters front man David Grohl too chicken to dedicate song Everlong to Sarah Palin? That's the rumor being floated after the band protested the McCain Campaign's use of song My Hero. Grohl appeared at a private video gamer event where he almost segued from a Palin reference to a dedication, then quickly substituted "... the Republicans" as recipients of his affection.

Fake tan malfunction alert. Calling all hosers. Can't explain why this non-news item made today's cut. Must be the lure of Lindsay Lohan's naked two-toned legs, although from the looks of strategically placed stocking holes, the cover-up doesn't seem nearly as garish.

Echoing Alec Baldwin's empty threat to leave the U.S. in the event of a George Bush presidency, Tina Fey claims she'll leave the planet if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the election. Exactly how the 30 Rock star plans to handle the unthinkable is between her and doppelganger Palin.


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