Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Paris Hilton is Like, Totally Running for President

In the Bizarro Celebolitics World, politicians imagine themselves pitted in a race for president against "the biggest celebrity in the world." They use celebrity star power to raise money for campaigns and raise the specter of TV comedy sketches as rebuttal in a nationally televised primary debate.

In the Bizarro Celebolitics World, celebrities stump campaign trails on behalf of their favorite political candidate. They chuck movie star lives to run for political office, sometimes reaching the highest echelons of American government.

And sometimes they're unwillingly interjected into a race for president. But today, in the Bizzaro Celebolitics World, Paris Hilton shows everyone how to fight back.

By running for president, silly. No really, she's like, totally running for president. The "old wrinkly white haired dude" stuck her in a campaign ad without asking, "Mother May I," so she's retaliating by throwing her tiara into the ring.

"I'll see you at the debates, b**ches," taunts Paris in this newly released video.

Not if we see her first.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Note: Embedding doesn't seem to work with this video. If the problem doesn't correct itself, you can view the Paris farce here.

Okay, "that's hot" Paris isn't actually running for president, but this is the Bizarro Celebolitics World, remember? Where celebrities get to spout simple solutions to America's looming energy crisis and paint the White House pink. Get with the program.

What a difference a year makes. Just last summer, Sarah Silverman famously lampooned the party hopping celebutante at the MTV Movie Awards. Paris then became the talk of the town for getting her bologna sandwiches from the inside of a jail cell. Larry King was the only notable talent who would bite at her lame DUI story. Honestly, the poor creature vapidly morphed into a pathetic shell of her former self, disinherited by her famous grandpappy, hounded by the paparazzi and mainstream media...

And then Britney came along.

I thought the Bizarro Celebolitics World couldn't get any more freakish, but then remembered this jewel of foreshadow stowed away in my treasure trove.

WARNING: Video contains language unsuitable for children under age 13. Content rated PG-13. Continue viewing with explicit acknowledgement of having read and understood this warning.

If that's not the most bizarre development in this convoluted evolution of Paris, I'll eat my bippy with a cherry on top.


Patrick Roberts said...

Paris has got some marketing savvy for sure... she turns everything into a PR boost