Friday, August 22, 2008

Barack Obama Has Chosen A Running Mate

The skinny guy with big ears has picked a running mate. Only he and a very exclusive group of "need-to-knows" possess the privately held extremely secure top secret information.

Dare I hint that perhaps moi has the inside track? Does "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" ring any cliches?

Wouldn't you like to know?

As people hanging their hats on McCain's experience, Republicans sticking with the party no matter what, and pinch hitters of every other allegiance dance with glee over the latest poll results, Senator Barack Obama is quietly building a media storm. The swirl has become overwhelming. Like a gaggle of hungry paparazzi, hordes of reporters tail not only Obama's every move, but every move of suspected running mates. It's hard not to get caught up in the frenzy.

Imagine the unfolding scenario.

In a smoke-filled room at Presumptive Democrat Nominee Headquarters behind closed doors, a high level casting call has been made. That Campaign Obama was able to conduct the selection process without anyone getting wind of it is an amazing feat in and of itself.

"Send in the one with the estrogen, we need a woman on the ticket!"

"Nah. Won't command enough respect. Talked too much about out of body experiences. Next!"

"Liking the one with thirty-five years of Congressional experience. He's our man. Definitely! Has to be him. What? He lost brownie points during his last photo shoot with our star? Lacks chemistry? Next!"

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is certainly playing his cards close to the vest. When asked whether he would be traveling to Springfield, Illinois for Obama's official announcement of a running mate, Kaine responded that he and his family would be traveling to Denver for the Democrat National Convention.

But when asked whether his flight might have a layover in middle America, Kaine just smiled and let the cameras flash away.

The surge is working. At a roasted peanut store in Emporia, Virginia, Obama running mate buzz is working over the MSM like a viral vid. People are scrambling to join the short list of those who will learn Obama's choice by text message prior to the Springfield announcement.

How much prior? The campaign isn't saying. But the ploy is marketing genius. Guaranteed, it's all anyone in the media will talk about until the text message is leaked. Exactly what the campaign is counting upon.


For the record, no one is stalking moi. But maybe they should be. I'm not at liberty to explain why. But in less than twenty-four hours, it won't matter.

Then we can all get back to the business of electing a president.

Update: Congratulations, Senator Joe Biden of Delaware. Obama couldn't have picked a stronger party candidate.