Thursday, July 24, 2008

First Photos Surface of Pregnant Man's New Baby

Celebrity baby Susan Juliette weighed 9 lbs 5 oz - Photo courtesy of GMA and ABC News
The world welcomed celebrity baby Susan Juliette on June 29, 2008. First photographs have finally surfaced.

When I mentioned the news to my friends, hardly anyone knew who I was talking about. Of course my friends regard celebrity gossip and culture as utter foolishness and a waste of time, but that's a whole other matter.

Get a load of the full shock of dark hair. A Suri Cruise doppelganger in the right light. Cute delicate facial features too. This baby's a keeper.

Three cheers for the simple and elegant. No Sunday Rose, Nahla Ariela, or Knox Leon for this baby. For once, a simple run of the mill pretty name from the far reaches of "celebrityness." Then again, when was the last time anyone chose Susan as a first name for their newborn? Very popular in my day. Not so much any more.

Why should it matter that the person who gave birth to her is legally a man? Despite reports to the contrary, little Susan did not enter the world via C-Section. Glad to help put that burning question to rest. Must be nice to pick and choose reproductive organs like menu items a la carte. Male for a legally issued marriage certificate, female to give birth.

But seriously, I'm on the side of little Susan's parents. Doesn't matter who's craddling her in the middle of the night, changing her diapers, or feeding her breast milk. Two loving parents in a stable nurturing relationship is all any kid needs for a leg up in this life. That and a house full of moolah.

Okay, nix the moolah. Material stuff is ethereal fluff. Here today, gone tomorrow. As any Michael Landon, Jr. movie pounds one over the head with a sledge hammer to insinuate, life is not about stuff. Connections, relationships, good health, serenity, comfort, stability, these are the things that truly matter in life.

Baby Susan Juliette has just as much shot at those things as anyone else, perhaps more so if you take into account her beginnings. This baby's parents wanted her so badly they were willing to endure public humiliation to give birth. And sell the story rights.

No, really, from all appearances the Beaties seem to be a happy couple on good terms with extended family members. That's more than I can say about most other blended families.

And from what I understand, the couple has made a pretty penny from exclusive photo shoots, news coverage, and a tell-all memoir.

Now everybody let 'em be.