Thursday, May 22, 2008

Positively Free Sex and the City Tour

Sex and the City: The Movie will premiere in New York City on May 30th 2008
The May 30th New York City premiere of Sex and the City: The Movie has inspired a fever pitch of hype and scramble for affiliation with all things Sarah Jessica Parker. New York City and local entrepreneurs are preparing to cash in.

Soon, a multitude of the fabulous and metrosexual will converge upon Manhattan, gobbling up SATC souvenirs, fighting for glimpses of stars on the red carpet, and spending outrageous sums of money for Sex and the City theme tours. While some tours are a perfectly reasonable way to enjoy the Big Apple, others are sold out, and still others are so obnoxiously expensive they should be banned for excessive opulence.

Truthfully, I'm a little appalled. Spending that much money for a friggn' city tour, are these people nuts? I like the SATC franchise just as much as anyone else, but you don't see me dropping huge wads of cash for something I can do on my own for nothing.

In fact, I'm so adverse to seeing so much money go down the drain, I decided to create an online tour of my own. No, it doesn't include injections of botox or boutique shopping jaunts, but it does give a fairly accurate picture of the SATC "hot spots." Even better, it's positively 100% FREE! I say, save your money for better things.

Like making a donation to my PayPal account.

Or buying your next gallon of gas.

Kristen Davis in Sex and the City deals with a foot fetish creep
Charlotte gets a free pair of shoes in exchange for a naughty massage.

Samantha Jones from Sex and the City cooling off at the pool
Samantha impersonates a member of a pool club to cool off on a hot day. There's the pool roof off in the distance.

Charlotte from Sex and the City purchases a rabbit vibrator
The ladies pay a visit to The Pleasure Chest where Charlotte purchases a little toy she names "Rabbit."

Carrie and Samantha in Sex and the City begin lusting for a preist
Remember the episode where Carrie and Samantha start ogling a priest? There's the church where the scenes were filmed. I hear the producers had to offer a hefty donation for the location.

Samantha from Sex and the City exits her apartment building from a red door
I find it hard to believe the red door with graffiti filled walls is tour worthy, but here's the scene where Samantha exits her apartment building. Funny how the place barely resembles the red door from the series.

Sex and the City ladies sit around drinking cosmopolitans
The official Sex and the City cosmopolitan is a staple of all the tours. These are being served in a pub, not the restaurant where this scene was shot.

Magnolia Bakery from Sex and the City
It wouldn't be a "Sex and The City" tour unless you stopped at Magnolia Bakery for cupcakes. Here, the line snakes around the door about 80 people long. In a scene from the series, Carrie tells Miranda about her Aidan crush as they lick cupcakes on an outside bench.

The steps leading from Carrie Bradshaw's brownstone from Sex and the City
Another popular tour destination is the steps outside Carrie Bradshaw's brownstone. Everyone stops to have pictures taken. The brownstone is actually located in the Village, not the Lower East Side as portrayed in the series.

"Your girl is beautiful, Hubbell," Carrie says to Big, a nod to "The Way We Were." The scene was filmed at the fountain across from The Plaza Hotel, a fitting way to end this tour on a high note.

Just in case you wanted to see some actual people on one of these tours, I'll leave you with the foreign film version. Au revoir, ladies.