Thursday, February 28, 2008

Live Blog of Celebrity Apprentice 2.28.08

Moan Quivers usually reports live from the red carpet on Celebrity Apprentice. But for some reason, Twitter is down. Moan is crying and cursing and kicking up a storm. Okay. Okay. No problem, Moani, move over to the blog. So, for what it's worth, we're allowing Moan to live blog right here. Have fun, ya'll!

9:05: All systems down. Twitter bot will not work. I'm taking this show to the blog. Hello world!

9:19: The last time Twitter worked, Omarosa was chickening out of being PM and the Donald kind of dissed her because he said Carol was the last woman left standing. Carol and Tito are the two PMs.

9:20: As I had started to say on the Twitter bot, Carol should have been fired last week, but instead it was Marilu. They're both so skinny I hate them. But at least Carol is stepping up to the plate this week. I'm glad a woman is taking charge. It's an ad campaign for a beauty product. This is right up Carol's alley.

9:23 The show went to commercial. Wow, Twitter is really messed up tonight. I finally got back into the account, but it looks totally weird. Did I miss getting the memo about shake up at Twitter? Or is someone hacking into my account? Hard to tell what exactly is going on.

9:25 Yes, Omarosa, women want to see hot men. They don't want to see you. Vamoose!

9:27 Tito's team, Empressario, is doing a hot shoot. But will it sell the product? I'm not so sure. This shoot doesn't make me want to buy dial beauty soap. It makes me want to call an escort service.

9:28 Piers says the fact that Redbook women want to have sex is not a problem at all. Piers probably hasn't gotten any in weeks. Hydra is doing soft porno for dial. I say throw Lennox in that shot too. A threesome! Sex it up, guys.

9:30 Agreed, Stevie B. The shoot is a risk for Empressario. Clean, healthy, trusted, wholesome, family. These are the words right out of the dial exec's mouths and Tito would be wise to listen. Stevie B. is pretty intuitive for a preacher man.

9:34 Prediction: If I had to guess, I would say that Tito will somehow revamp the shoot. If not, the team is going to be toast and either Tito or Stinkaroma will be fired.

9:36 I usually like British accents, but when I hear Piers speaking, I think about his fatherless children and feel all sick inside. Hydra's campaign is focusing on health. The model is biting Carol's shoulder. This might be too racy for them.

9:38 What's up with the dial exec's tie? Bob? That guy in the blue has no taste whatsoever. His tie looks like a jigsaw puzzle.

9:39 Omarosa's claim to fame is that she's a "Reality Star" Hahahaha. I love that. Now one can be a star just by being on a reality show, even if you have no other talent whatsoever. Tito's presentation was pretty poor.

9:40 The Donald asks the execs who they liked more. Going out on a limb here during the commercial and going to say they liked Carol's team, Hydra, better. We'll see when the show returns.

9:44 Already they are going into the boardroom. Drat. I wanted to hear more from the guy with the bad tie.

9:45 Tito was nervous at the presentation, Donald, because he's usually pounding people in the face, not trying to speak. Don't use Tito as a speaker if you want to sell your product. Lession learned. Use him as a person to pound out your opponent...or to be bitten in the ring, as The Donald just pointed out.

9:47 I for one do not think that the hot model biting Carol's shoulder was a problem. Piers is dissing the other side's ad. He says it was boring. Trace is not boring, Piers. If you want boring, look in the mirror.

9:49 I'm not sure why it matters if the teams look at each other's ads and rips them apart. Of course the other side is not going to like each other's ads. The Donald just said that what he likes doesn't matter.

9:50 Yes! I got it right. Hydra wins. Carol is going to get $20K for charity. Love how Celebrity Apprentice gives money away. Such a good part of this show.

9:51 I wish someone would shut Omarosa up. Tito is the nicest guy ever and she is fighting with him, pushing the PM on him, pushing her stupid opinions on him. She really needs to be fired. Why is The Donald keeping her?

9:53 Omarosa, Omarosa, Stinkaroma. You are a liar. No one likes you. You are 0 and 2 on the tasks. You have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. You lied and said you wanted to be PM, even though we all heard you push it on Tito. And now you are going to try to hang Tito out to dry. If The Donald doesn't fire you this time around, I am going to go on some kind of protest. I mean it. And it will be big. Like Adrian Grenier. I'll grow a beard. Or let my unshaven legs grow more hair. Something dirty and stinky, like you.

9:55 Okay, they're back. I doubt anyone is going to be asked to leave the room. Not enough time.

9:56 Pray with me everyone. Pray. Fire Omarosa. Fire Omarosa. Go George! There was no concept. It's all Omarosa's fault.

9:57 Noooooo. Trace. DO NOT stick up for Omarosa!!!!

9:58 Maybe she cooked herself afterall. Stevie B. is really the one who knocked down the racy picture and Omarosa just told The Donald she would fire Tito.

9:59 Tito has no idea what the word "exonerate" means. Tito just said that Omarosa shouldn't be fired because she worked the hardest. This is soooooo wrong!!!

10:00 Darn! I'm gonna have to grow hairy legs. The Donald just fired Tito, but he felt so sorry for him, he gave him $50K for St. Judes. Classy. Oh well, Stinkaroma misses the ax again. Tune in next week for incredibly hairy legs and more swipes at Stinky.