Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Justin Timberlake Super Bowl Commercial Misses the Mark

What an amazing Super Bowl. People can't stop talking about it. The last one and a half minutes of New England versus New York are now the stuff of football legend. Even unflappableTerry Bradshaw had his socks knocked off.

Speaking of lost footwear, I hope adolescent boys and men stuck in Peter Pan mode have a Pepsi jones and plenty of money to burn. Otherwise, that Justin Timberlake commercial won't likely cause a significant spike in Pepsi sales. I don't care what the rest of the world thinks, by the end of that ad the only people I wanted to see were the paramedics. Okay, Andy Samberg, Justin's junk in a box buddy, is an awesome blonde transvestite, but the slurpy stuff or those doodad rewards? Couldn't care less.

Ouch. OMG. Please, oh no, make it stop. Ow. Ow. Ooooo. Nooooo. Ouch! OUCH!! WTF!! Please, not there, no not in the .... OUCH!! Ooomph. Ow. Not again. That's gotta sting. Uh... here's hoping wardrobe fitted Justin with a cup of steel.

Enough. I've had enough. Make it go away. If I see any more, I'll get a charley horse from crossing my legs. Did they have to emasculate and practically kill Timberlake to go for the gold?

And this Paula Abdul comeback. What's up with that? What if someone was busy with more important stuff (like hanging with friends) during the Super Bowl pre-show? Who even knew there was a pre-show? Am I that out of it to think the football game didn't begin until game time?

Granted, Paula deserves an A for effort. She's a sexy dancer with fabulous choreography, but...erm... that song. How do I say this without sounding like Simon? It sucks. Well, that didn't go as expected. Look, that song coupled with Paula's studio enhanced lip syncing felt like waterboarding. The same beat with the same words over and over until if you're not actually drowning, you wish you were.

Paula's act needs better songs. This lip synced number from "What the Buck" is far more entertaining and the dancing is just as fun, if not better. Michael Buckley's got it going on. Surely, Paula can relate to that.