Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Spewker is Going Dark Until February 4, 2008

This is the last article on The Spewker until February 4, 2008. If you could see my house, you'd know why.

The dishes are no longer simply piling up in the sink. This morning I saw creepy little bugs crawling around the dish drainer. And the laundry! Don't get me started on the laundry. There's always another pile that needs sorting and washing. Maybe I could see the light of day if the children would hang up all the clothes they pull from their closets and reject. But since they're too lazy to put clean clothes back on the hangers, and since they clean up their rooms by stuffing all the clothes scattered across their floors in their laundry baskets, I think I'd better start getting used to the dark.

Mind you, I would hang the darn clothes up myself if they didn't stew with the stanky stuff for umpteen days. Their laundry baskets are filled with gym socks, underwear, and moldy looking junk I can't decipher. I'd beat the kids silly and take away their cell phones if I thought it would change their scuzzy hygiene habits. Where did they learn such infuriatingly disgusting habits, I wonder. Oh. Right. Our house. Never mind.

I'm also starting to have nightmares about the inch and a half of dust building up on the heating baseboards. Is something like that bad for one's health? I know. I know. I should hire a cleaning service. Well, good services are hard to find. The last one I had drove me to drink. Constant new personnel, interminable lateness, and couldn't care less attitudes. I kissed them goodbye without so much as a whimper.

Ah, navel gazing. Thrilling for the writer to unload, boring for readers to view. I'll bet half the people who started this article surfed to something else after my diatribe against the children. Were you one of them?

Oh, crimey, you couldn't be one of them if you made it this far, now could you? I don't know what's more stupid, me asking a question like that or someone responding to it.

Mona is now nudging me saying this article is truly starting to sound weird. "If you don't stop," she's warning me, "we're going to lose a lot of subscribers." Moan has a tendency to be right about such things, so I suppose I will stop. If I've offended anyone, I sincerely apologize and beg forgiveness. It worked for Gene Simmons with The Donald, right?

A few random thoughts before I sign off for the rest of this month.

Conservative talk radio blows. No, I mean it. It didn't before, but now it does. It's like all the conservative talk show hosts have bandied together and decided the only Republican candidates that make sense to them are Romney and Thompson. Maybe, maybe Giuliani if he would just get out there and campaign in the early primary states. The votes of little states don't seem to figure into Rudy's political strategy, or so they say. Not wanting to look positively thick, the conservatrons are barely mentioning his name. Rudy is not out of this race, fellahs, remember that!

Also, I'm getting fed up hearing every single one of them say, "I still think Hillary is going to become the nominee, even though I don't want her to become the nominee, I really think she's going to get the nomination." Those blithering idiots! If they really didn't want Billary to become the nominee, none of them would be saying that. Every single one of them would be too scared to come out with such a prediction for fear of being wrong. They're only repeating the Billary mantra because they want the Democrats to nominate her. They know she can't win against any of the Republicans and that's a fact.

Believe it or not, and I say this most sincerely, Obama at least has a shot at becoming our next president. He's likeable, his sound bites are right, and he plays to his own party. Hardly any Dem is going to jump ship if Obama becomes the nominee. That's exactly what the conservative talk show hosts are afraid of, mark my words.

Moving on. The presidential election. I've decided to stop blogging about it. My thoughts about the election and the candidates are pissing too many people off, probably because I'm such a moderate. I don't understand where these people are coming from. My legal training allows me to see both sides of a controversy without becoming emotionally invested. Not so for the majority of people I've met on the Internet. Either I agree with them and align myself with their point of view, or they target me as the enemy. Divisive politics is counterproductive, antithetical to my inherent nature as a people person, and not worth the animosity it engenders. I'm tempted to remove all the "political commentary" articles from the topix list in this blog, but that would be capitulating to the bullies. One thing about yours truly, I don't back down on issues I truly believe in and care about.

In fact, I care so passionately about these issues -- *sniff* *sniff* -- I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I didn't *sniff* *sniff* care about these things so very passionately. I'm only trying *sniff* *sniff* to help *sniffle* the American people (smattering of water in the eyes) when I blog about political issues *sniff* because I care so unbelievably passionately (clearing throat) and want to make the world a better place for the children, the dear precious children, bless their tiny little hearts and souls.

Finally, social media. It's huge, very powerful and impressive. Each day I become more emersed in it, I am energized by a newfound ability to reach people from all walks of life and nationalities. I don't have to actually meet these people. I only have to somehow connect with them. When I do I feel the same way as if we had connected at a bar or a convention. Sometimes such chance encounters become lasting friendships. I'm debating whether to post articles about social media when I return. They wouldn't be research or anything intellectual, just my own thoughts and impressions. If anyone is still reading this article, let me know what you think about social media and whether you think it may compliment the existing "American media" category here at The Spewker.

Thank you, whoever is left, for your interest, time, and patience. Please subscribe or bookmark this site and return on February 4th. You won't regret making the commitment, I promise.

Update: 2.25.08 The 2008 presidential election has been way too exciting to ignore. Despite my best efforts, I continue to blog about it. If the articles piss people off, so be it. At the end of the day, I have to be true to myself. Besides, I'm a believer in the cliche, if you build it they will come. There's a place for a political moderate on the Internet. The Spewker should be a place similarly minded people can call home.


BillyWarhol said...

I thought Everybody in America had Maids to do that stuff for U??

At least whenever I watched Dallas + Dynasty + The O.C. they did*