Monday, December 17, 2007

Celebrity Presidential Endorsements on Parade

Less than three weeks from the first primary election of 2008, celebrity presidential endorsements are hitting the big time. Oprah made her big splash for Obama last week after Streisand, Bill, Mrs. Rodham, and Chelsea went to bat for Hillary.

Before that, of course, we had Clooney, Halle, and Matty The Sexiest Man Alive for Barack. And before any of them hit the scene, way back over the summer, there was Taryn Southern in "Hot4Hill" and that spicy little Obama girl who got plastered all over TV. Suddenly, there's Chuck for "Huck," and Lieberman for McCain, not to mention Fred Thompson who is a celebrity in his own right. The other candidates have some Hollywood appeal as well, but apparently not enough to make the national news media stand up and applaud.

How can anyone help but notice all the Tinseltown draped over Election 2008? The parade of celebrity endorsements keeps going and going and going ad naseum like the Energizer Bunny in a bad Twilight Zone episode. Rod Serling could not have conceived of anything more terrifying, I mean, the thought of all these celebrities somehow influencing voters to cast their ballot for the celebrity's choice of presidential candidate is positively horrifying. Barbra Streisand is a wonderful entertainer with a voice like buttah, but honestly, what does she know about running America?

There's no sense in complaining. There are too many Americans who are too busy to pay attention to the presidential election and/or don't have the brains or interest to care. These are the same people who will vote for a candidate because Oprah tells them to, or because they want a minority in office, or because they like the way a candidate plays a guitar on stage. Forget about foreign policy, or ability to lead, or domestic policy....none of that actually matters.

It's gotten so bad that if a candidate hasn't gotten a celebrity endorsement of some sort by now, they might as well throw in the towel. Otherwise qualified candidates like Dodd, Biden, Tancredo, and Hunter (if you just said "WHO?" out loud, you really have not been following the election and don't deserve to cast a vote in the primary) haven't got a prayer. These men lack the necessary star power, will not pass their screen tests, and mark my words, will start dropping like flies after February 5th.

This is the state of politics in 2008. A hundred years from now, someone will look back on this moment and designate 2008 as the year politics became undone. Slowly, slowly, ever since Reagan became president, America has been drifting into a Hollywood mindset, equating the ability to lead a nation with the ability to open a movie, electing presidents the same way they become fans of movie stars.

Quiet! That twilight zoney music is playing faintly in the background. Oh, no, wait, it's the theme song from Back to the Future.

Might as well have some fun with this. Like a celebrity parade before it passes by, everyone on the other side of the baricades should stop and watch the action. Yeah, that's the ticket. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Think of each video as an overblown Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade float.

Just be careful to avoid getting subliminally slimed.