Friday, November 16, 2007

Pro Hillary Crowd Turns CNN Las Vegas Debate Into Society Page Social

Democratic presidential candidates take questions at the South Carolina debatesAw, ain't that nice. The bride and her groomsmen all lined up and so purty. Whars 'er corsage, ah mean, boo-kay? They couldn't find sump'n to match orange? Aw, ain't it a shame.

Okay. So this isn't a picture from last night's debate in the Silver State, but it might as well be. CNN stuck old Hill at a podium in the middle, flanked by male rivals on each side. When the debate became heated, the audience booed or the moderator admonished her opponents, "One at a time." It reminded me of a coronation. They didn't even allow that Gravel guy to participate.

Sorry, former Senator Mike. This is an exclusive affair. You're not on the guest list. Buh-bye.

But the worst moment came when someone in the audience asked dumpy Hill whether she prefers diamonds or pearls. I can't remember the last time someone asked a presidential candidate their preference for jewelry. Hmmmm. Let's see, now. When was that....could it have been....NEVER?!

Call me old fashioned, but I'm more interested in hearing the details of Clinton's energy plan, not what type of bribes she'll expect from foreign governments.

Exactly how does she intend to fund all those grandiose notions of removing oil from the nation's supply and demand chain? Does she honestly think it will be as simple as giving car manufacturers subsidies to go green? What about public transportation? Is she going to pay off public transportation companies too? Where is all this money coming from? Higher taxes? I'm already being taxed to near extinction in the Free State (soon to be forever known as the "Flee State"). There are so many holes in Clinton's purported energy plan there isn't enough room to tear it apart here.

With such serious matters afoot, will someone please tell me why some bimbo plant got the nod to lob a soft one about jewelry preferences?

Better yet, why is Billary answering such a lamebrain inquiry? I expect serious presidential candidates to answer questions like that with a non-answer. For example, "Not to evade your question, but this is a serious debate concerning the office of President of the United States," or "Not to evade your question, but in all fairness, I don't think that's something the President of the United States will have to decide."

Not a chance. Oh, and for the record, "She Who Should Not Be Named" prefers both. Duh.


fatboyslimming said...

what do you think the future holds for the american people if hilary gets elected... wont she be like an older version of lisa simpson..

The Spewker said...

Nah. More like a mixture of Carmela Soprano and Maude. America's not ready for socialism. Another four years of Clintons will bring this country to its knees.

Sasi said...

I love you Hillary!
Damn, girl
Sometimes I look at you
And I…I just don’t know what to do with myself
It feels just like it did in 7th grade
When Erica Landes used to sit next to me in Algebra
And I’d have to walk down the hall with my math book in front of my hammer pants because I didn’t want people to see me pitchin’ a tent.
When I look at you, I feel the same way
So I wrote you this song because I know you’ve been feelin’ a little down lately.
From me to you, don’t fear me Baby!
Its just SuperFan…

(Sung to MC Hammer's Too Legit to Quit)
Too legit... Too legit to quit (three times)

Delegates, we’re comin’ from behind(‘hind)
but you know we don’t mind
Girl, just cry harder (Yea!)
than you ever did before
Going for the heartstrings of folks that think you’re cold (frosty)
and you know they’re buyin’ it
and no man will be tryin’ it (Nah!)
‘cause Rodham don't play that
you try to get mine boy
you better step back freeze
(freeze) cause you don't want none
We hustle for the voters and Obama’s lookin’ weak son (Texas)
yea!... Texas and Ohio gonna be the shit
Keep pushing for the nom, cause she’s too legit to quit...sing!...

Chorus (Hillary is pronounced “Hilla-Ray” like Hey Hey)
Too legit...
Too legit to quit
Too legit...too legit...
Too legit to quit...
Too legit... Too legit to quit
(too legit...)
Too legit... too legit to quit...

When you go to vote, yo this race is close
So get her back cause she’ll attack and ‘em hit with a dose
of Clinton power cause she and Bill devour
All these fools who are bitter and sour
We refuse to lose, McCain is just a foo’
Obama is dope but it’s time for Hillary to rule school
DC’s got too many fools in the game who are way too lame
She’s had 35 years to learn how to make change
Cankles, you make fun cause they so big it’s insane
They got so large cause they’re housing some of her brain
Come join with a gal who’s smart, full of wit,
Runs the show and is too legit to quit...sang!

Repeat chorus x2
Chorus to fade